The Precipice: Mia Brabham Nolan

"Effervescence—to me, that’s beauty."

Welcome to issue 2 of The Precipice, an interview series in conversation with interesting women who are entering their next decade. Working in the beauty/lifestyle media space has caused me to interrogate the Beauty Industrial Complex™ and my place in it. I get thousands of emails every week promising to make me (and my readers) prettier—which usually means younger, firmer, tighter…through the violent means of zapping, battling, eradicating, injecting—you get the point. Pain in the pursuit of perfection. I don’t consider myself beauty critical, but all this messaging has led to the desire to think critically about the system in which I exist (and to many extents, prop up). One of the big things I’ve realized: Time is such a gift, and so is aging. I don’t want to be anti-aging. What a privilege it is to accumulate wisdom and life experience. In this interview series, I speak with women about how their relationship to beauty culture changes as they get older, and all the beautiful (and sometimes challenging) things that come with it.

I’m so happy share this interview with the one and only Mia Brabham Nolan. We met as one does in this city and industry, at a press breakfast hosted by Fidelity (yes, the bank). What immediately drew me to Mia was, as you’ll read, her effervescence. Mia is bubbly. She has a laugh that makes you want to laugh. She’s a brilliant writer at Shondaland. And she has this charming and magical ability to make everyone she talks to feel loved. Prior to Shondaland, Mia spent time at NBC, E!, built a popular YouTube Channel and worked as a freelance writer. She is the author of Note to Self: Little Reminders About Life, Love, People, and That Tiny Voice Inside. She lives in New York City.

Find Mia:

https://www.instagram.com/yourstrulymia/

Note to Self: Little Reminders About Life, Love, People, and That Tiny Voice Inside

What’s in your beauty bag/on your vanity?

It’s funny, because I don’t really consider myself a beauty girl! I grew up with the most basic skincare routine (soap and water), using the same three or four make-up products every day — if that. What I use now is Cocokind, a brand I learned about during an editorial event. I like Cocokind because it’s a really affordable, environmentally conscious brand. I use the Oil to Milk Cleanser, the Ceramide Barrier Serum, and the Resurrection Polypeptide Cream as moisturizer. But I am also a basic Cetaphil girly. I love a Cetaphil cleanser. And sunscreen. That’s really it. On a night out, I love a red lip. I love a deep reddish purple,  especially. Selena Gomez’s Rare Beauty has a good deep purple that looks almost red that’s not costume-y.

What’s your favorite beauty product/tool?

The Huda Beauty lipstick in the “Game Night” shade!

What’s great about being on the precipice of 30?

I feel like in so many ways, my life is just beginning. I’ve been so happy with and proud of my life so far, because I truly believe that you are in charge of designing the life you want. But it feels like it’s going to be so different, and it’s exciting and scary. I just got married at the end of last year. We’ve been together for seven years and this next era together is going to be starting a family. It’s going to be building roots, starting traditions, a lot of things.

I feel like I’ve always had a really strong sense of identity, but as I’ve gotten older, I realize so much is out of my control. Who will I be when those unexpected things in life happen? That terrifies me. There’s this ungrounded-ness. But it’s also exciting.

What would you tell your past self about your beauty values today?

I was a Black girl who grew up in a predominantly white area. I was stick thin [as a kid] and I remember boys [asking], “Why is your butt not big? Aren’t Black girls supposed to have big butts? Why are your boobs not big? Black girls always have big boobs.” I was just like, “You’re an idiot.” Then [the growth spurt] happened. I was like, “Woah.”

I also think with Black women—I was around people who always celebrated their bodies. I would just tell my younger self the world is going to tell you so much about beauty. I think in my particular case, keep the course. One day it’s not going to be so easy to always be so okay with [your body]. Any time you can grasp on to feeling okay with it, do it.

Hair is a different story. I still struggle with those beauty standards as far as Western/European hair versus Black hair. Growing up, I never have braids in school. I knew it would set me apart in [what I thought was] a not good way, and I did want to assimilate in a certain way as far as my hair. But now, gosh, I’ve had braids so many times. I’ve had cornrows. I’ve had crochet, boho braids, big braids, chunky braids, a weave, wigs. I’ve just experimented over the years. I’m so proud of myself for even trying.

What is your earliest beauty memory—a product, experience, feeling, epiphany? What was your “inoculation” into beauty culture?

Dancing. Before my first dance recital, my mom got out her little lipstick. She put it on my lips, and then she did dots on my cheeks and spread it to be blush. I still do that to this day! I don’t buy blush.

I also loved trying on my mom’s shoes and her work dresses. The late ‘90s and early 2000s were such a slay. I’m sorry—the pantsuit, the blouse, the simple black pump? It’s classic.

Do you remember your first insecurity?

Definitely my legs. I’m a bit knock-kneed. My best guy friend said to me, “What’s wrong with your legs?” It hurt. And I’ll never forget that. People don’t realize the things they say stick with you.

What’s something you love about yourself?

I’m sorry [laughs] but I think have *great* tits! But in college, I had an acne flare up on my chest and it ballooned into a keloid. I tried to get it removed [but it] made it worse. Now I have this huge scar across my chest. 

One thing I struggled with when this scarring happened was that [I didn’t survive something dramatic like a heart transplant]. It was just an acne flare up. I liked my boobs, but I stopped wearing any clothing that revealed my chest. But for my wedding, I did, and it was a big day for me. 

When I would tell people about the scar, they would be like, “But you’re so beautiful. It doesn’t matter. Your scar doesn’t define you. It’s part of your beauty.” That’s true. But maybe I’m still trying to embrace that. I also think if I want to slay in a turtleneck all year, or wear a high neckline because it makes me feel good and it still accentuates what I want, that’s okay. I don’t have to own it. I’m going to work with this the way I want to, to make it feel good to me.

What/how do you define “beautiful”?

Effervescence. When I think of effervescence, I immediately think of the spirit. People think of it as an internal or invisible thing. But to me, it’s an ever-present thing that is evident and is actually very physical. I think your spirit shows up on your face. It shows up in your body language. It shows up in how you carry yourself. And to me, I think everyone has a certain effervescence; it’s this essence of you, “This is who I am.” I think that shines through. To me, that’s beauty.

How do you feel about the phrase, “anti-aging”?

It’s impossible. We’re aging every day and you can’t go back. Which is literally why I had a quarter life crisis last year. [I realized] that life is moving so fast and I cannot go backwards. None of us can. 

So with anti-aging, like, are you against aging? I have so many questions for whoever came up with that. But also I’m [not] at the age yet where I feel like I’ve really had to grapple with that. That’s a privilege, so to speak. If you ask me this question in 30 years, I might have a different answer. But I’d like to think I want to age naturally and beautifully and gracefully.

Your position on: fillers, injectables, plastic surgery, Ozempic, etc.

People should do whatever they want to do to make themselves happy. But I do think when you get too much, it takes away from who you are. It’s hard to see. I do think that part of your beauty is how you look without your makeup or with no injections or fillers. But I don't know. Do what makes you happy.

I think it’s really fun when people are honest about it, though. Authenticity is really important to me. When people present or make themselves to be how they feel and what they want, that’s one thing. But to do it and then kind of lie about it is an interesting choice to me, but I don’t judge it.

I went and saw Live with Kelly and Ryan on Valentine’s Day with my best friend, Shelby, and Kelly Ripa came over to us. The woman behind me told Kelly she was beautiful. She said, “Kelly, you still look good, girl.” I was cringing because [you don’t tell people], “You still look good!” But Kelly was just a vibe. She was like, “Thank you so much. It’s taken a lot of doctors.” I really appreciated that. I really was like, “I like you even more.” I love when people are just honest and authentic about about their perspective and how they’re going about it.

Your biggest fear, as it relates to the Beauty Industrial Complex?

I feel like what we fear is already happening—all this anti-aging marketing. These things telling us how to look and what to do this to make this better.

What has been your most terrible beauty product/experience/advice received?

Foundation is the devil! Once you start wearing it, then you want to wear it every day. So I make sure to rarely wear it. I just try to find the minimum of what works for me.

What’s the most lovely thing you’ve experienced today, this week, month, and year?

Today? Riding a bike. I just love riding bikes. It’s the leisurely cruising that I really enjoy. I grew up riding beach cruisers, so there’s really something about a ride that’s so lovely to me.

This week, month, and year? I’ve been hosting a lot. I love having people in our apartment, setting the table, gathering, making a space warm. It’s not all about aesthetic to me, but it’s this feeling of invitation. I grew up in a big house with a big family. Anytime my house feels like a safe place for people to come to just be a space to hang out, I love it.

What’s a work of art your love, in any medium, and why?

I can't choose just one! But right now? Beyoncé. Beyoncé reclaiming three genres that are historically Black but have been co-opted and warped and changed! I think her body of work is art. It’s more than music. It’s visual, it’s cultural, it’s historical. That’s why I always love Lemonade, because that album is historically telling what it’s like to be a Black woman in America. She’s a cultural phenomenon. I think this project is so cool and genius.

What’s an affirmation you always tell yourself, that you actually believe?

You’re doing great.

Something about [those words are] just so precious to me.

I’m always looking for interview subjects! If you know someone who’d be interested in being featured on The Precipice, please send them my way. The only requirements: They must be within one to two years of their next decade, and have some public online presence.