Consider This Your Permission to Fail
And introducing an interview series, "The Precipice".
Credit: Dasha Burobina/PureWow
If you thought the title of this newsletter had a typo, the answer is no. I didn’t mean fly, or fête, or any other word that begins with “f”. This is your permission to fail in 2024. Don’t be mistaken—I’m not wishing you ill. Rather, I’m hoping that this permission (not that you need it) grants you the freedom to try something new.
Last week, I published an essay, “Last Year I Gave Myself Permission to Suck. Here Are the Lessons I’m Taking Into 2024”, and it seemed to resonate with a good number of people—a handful of whom have now hopped on this joyride. I even received a few reader notes! It was incredibly heartening to know that many of you, too, want to break out of perfection paralysis and reject the 4Ps.
For those new around here, I coined the 4Ps a couple years ago. They are: Purpose, Profit, Productivity, and Pleasing Other People. In my essay, I wrote that I spend, at a minimum, 40 hours a week at my day job chasing these 4Ps. My goal for last year was to give myself the freedom to do things for the joy of doing them, not worrying about turning a hobby into a hustle. (My hot take: American hustle culture killed the hobby. But I digress.)
At the end of my “year of failure” I was pleasantly surprised to find myself emboldened to try things even if there was no guarantee I would be “good” at them. I danced for the joy of dancing, wrote fiction for the joy of the creative process, and made a lot of Polaroids that taught me to embrace imperfection not as a hinderance but an embellishment. What is something you want to try this year, for the joy of it? Feel free to hit reply and tell me—I would love to know. I hope 2024 is a year of failure. Failure in the sense that we find freedom to embrace being alive for the joy that it is, unencumbered by perfection and performance.
And in that vein of trying new things, I’m excited to launch an interview series that will make joyride a twice-monthly publication, starting in the summer.
Introducing “The Precipice”
I work in women’s lifestyle media, so by nature, every week my inbox fills with pitches for anti-aging this, plastic surgery that, free filler, free Botox, the next hot ingredient promising me and my readers that this is the key to keeping whatever youth and beauty we may currently have. It has forced me to confront the reality of aging, especially as I myself am now crossing over into my late-late 20s, crawling towards what I deem “The Precipice.”
The word “precipice” is intriguing to me. Technically, the definition is a steep overhang or hazardous situation. But what’s life without a little daring and a little risk? I like the word better than abyss—itself defined as a bottomless chasm—because precipice indicates that something meets us at the end. Or, that something is about to change, transform us. And it could be really, really great.
Society treats aging as a taboo (just ask Simone de Beauvoir), and I often have the sentiment that it is an abyss, and we’re all just teetering on the precipice of another milestone birthday—the next half decade, the next decade. I realized that I wanted to have an honest conversation about how our relationship with beauty industrial complex changes as we step into new decades. And I hope that as these conversations happen, I (and we) see that we’re all just teetering on the precipice of something lovely and good that’s not to be feared.
Thus, at the end of every month, I plan to share a conversation with someone on the precipice of their next decade—a set of 17 questions that dive deep into how beauty shapes our perception of ourselves and others.
I’m starting the search for great interview subjects, so if you know of anyone who would be a great fit, send them my way. They can be on the precipice of any decade—20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90…even 100!
What I’m Reading
“How to Worry Less and Be Happier” / Arthur Brooks, The Atlantic
“I Wanna Dance with Somebody” / Xochitl Gonzales, The Atlantic
“Why Does Gen Z Believe It’s ‘Aging Like Milk’?” / Callie Holtermann, The New York Times
“In Praise of Pointless Goals” / Gloria Liu, The Atlantic
“The Girls Shredding the Bronx” / Laura Bannister, The Cut
Anita de Monte Laughs Last / Xochitl Gonzales
All About Love / bell hooks
The Night of the Iguana / Tennessee Williams
What I’m Writing
“The 46 Best Sustainable Products and Brands to Shop in 2024, Tested & Reviewed” (I spent 365 days on this pet project!)
“What Are the Benefits of Cold Plunge Therapy? Everything You Need to Know, According to Experts”
“8 Trending Ingredients in Skin and Hair Care That Experts Predict Will Be Huge in 2024”
“The 11 Best Texture Sprays for Fine Hair, Tested and Reviewed”
“I’m a Photographer and These Are the 3 Things You Should Avoid Doing in Photos”
Dear Marissa, first, I absolutely enjoy your articles and as I sit here in my home in Dinan and reading your latest, honestly I'm impressed. It's like a chef introducing a new dish, some will like, others will take time to accept the new flavor. I may find permission to suck is that new meal that has a different taste, but as the new taste, your writing gives me a different perspective. As a writer, you always impress me. I've known you a long time and so impressed with your journey. I to have had and having an amazing journey. Living in Dinan now over a year and here to stay, I to write and feel inspired to create and bring thoughts and reactions from deep within. When I'm in Paris, it's a different view on everything, except the pleasure of discovery. When I sit just about anyplace in Paris, my heart feels overwhelmed with "the movable feast". I think if you were here in Dinan a few months, your writing, your motivation, your heart would change, as would your writing. I think we in some way, become where we live. I remember living in NYC and growing up there, it was much different in the 50' and 60's, and on my last visit 3 years ago...I felt as if I never left. You know me, and I have always admired you, I will always. If we learn from the mistakes, it's ok. If you want to include me in your article, I'll come to NYC and we can sit and you can have an exclusive on a man that is living the life here and about the journey. No regrets, just keep moving forward and... not sucking.
Russ Trapani living the life in the ramparts of Dinan